I can hear all my mother words warning me about playing around with little boys. How I needed to act like a lady, get treated with respect, don’t run around kissing guys and sitting on toilets because that would lead to pregnancy!
Trip Down South
One day my mother had an idea, she wanted to drive us to Newport News, VA by herself without my father. We had never taken a trip that far without him, sure we had crossed the border to New York (Port Chester and White Plains) a thousand times but never multiple states away. We were very excited but not sure she/we could do it, so I kept track of the exit signs and miles to the next state and I think my brother was simply a bratty passenger. There was very different about this more than just my dad was not driving; and I don’t know and still don’t know what prompted her to make such a decision. We arrived safe and sound (where did that phrase come from?) my grandparents were so happy to see us, and I was eager to go and hang out with my cousins as I always did. I had the 15-year-old itch (wanting to be older but unable to do anything about it too young for 16-year-old things like driving and to old for hanging out with 7-year-old bratty brothers) – hanging with my older cousins seemed like a great alternative considering I had no other siblings or cousins my age, so the idea of going to out with my cousins sounded like a fabulous idea.
Cutie and Baby Blue Camaro
Any who, one evening I was out with my cousins and we went to the local bar. The excitement of being in the bar and pretending to be all grown up was overwhelmingly sweet and sufficient. I was not sure what to do so I acted as they did (the beginning of my precise chameleon abilities). After the bar-scene ended we were in the parking lot making plans to do other things. There he was that cute guy that was trying to buy me a drink in the bar had started a conversation with me and I found myself engaged and feeling a lot like Jan (from the Brady Bunch) all grown up but not really. Besides being cute/handsome he had a baby blue Camaro just like the one I dreamed I would have when I “grew up”. There was a young lady in our neighborhood that was a few years older she had a good job and a baby blue Camaro. My best friend and I vowed we would get a car just like hers when we grew up and even work with the same organization. Meanwhile back at the bar, my cousins have decided to go to house party can and that cute guy after hearing my story asked me if I wanted to drive! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Can you imagine the excitement I felt at 15 years of age (with a learner’s permit) driving my dream car, hanging out with my family, meeting this guy and going to another party after I have just left a bar!!! This scenario would never have happened back at home and I was locked and loaded.
We’re off and driving down a very long street and somewhere along the way I get separated from the train of cars that were traveling to the party. Me and “Cutie” arrive at an apartment complex, I look around but I don’t see any familiar cars, family members and I don’t hear any music – considering we going to another party it was Summer and very quiet after 2 am. We walk into a house and there’s some random guy watching television in the dark. “Cutie” walks me upstairs and wants to make out – remember those days. However, the making out begins to go way beyond what I’ve had become accustomed to so I begin to say stop! no! don’t! I’m fighting with is his hands and trying to move away, in a minute, I can’t control his movements – he’s not listening and there, right there, the most unbelievable thing happens…
I can hear all my mother words warning me about playing around with little boys. How I needed to act like a lady, get treated with respect, don’t run around kissing guys and sitting on toilets because that would lead to pregnancy! A young man should want to take you out on Saturday and Sunday if no-show on Sunday – it’s a problem – the RULES…My honor, the definition of who I was, my dreams and hopes in a flash had been snatched from me by some random cute guy I met at the bar driving a baby blue Camaro! Damn what do I do, I don’t know where I am, I don’t know how to get back to grandma’s house, I don’t know where my family is, cell phones were only for the extremely rich and famous!!!
When he realizes what I was, yes, I was an untouched flower that he had just destroyed! He goes into his glove compartment and shows me his car registration and then he goes into the trunk and takes out a crow bar – I’m thinking oh Lord is going to kill me right here in the parking lot – hell it’s dawn for Christ’s sake – who does that (my naïve ignorance) he gives me permission to destroy the baby blue… and/or him with the crowbar. I hold the crow bar and I’ll be damn, I can’t make a decision which would hurt him more breaking the windows or slashing him upside his head… so out of my hands it drops, and I softly say please take me home.
I had a dream, no I had a vision that I would marry my high school sweetheart, we would have 2 children, a washer and dryer, I knew where we would live and that he would take over his father’s business – we would live happily ever after just like #Cinderella. I had a desire to be a real-life Cinderella yet I had picked out my Knight in Shining Armor. One night with “Cutie” from the bar with baby blue Camaro shot that dream all to hell. You see my #Virgin status had been revoked –
Do come back later to find out I tried to restore my #Virgin status and adjust my #Veil…