When You Love Someone who has #PTSD

Some of us are good at wearing a mask – hiding our symptoms of PTSD. If someone close to you has experienced a traumatic event, it can be hard to know how to support them. The symptoms of PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem-solving—which may lead to troubled family relationships or friendships.

Here are several ways you can help your loved one, strengthen your relationship, and take care of yourself too.

FOR YOU

    Take care of your own health.

    Continue doing the things you enjoy and find relaxing.

    Recognize the effects of PTSD on relationships  

    Be realistic about how much you can do.

    Talk about what you’re going through with your own support network.

    Consider seeing a counselor or therapist.

FOR YOUR LOVED ONE

    Plan enjoyable activities with friends and family.

    Encourage them to get treatment.   

    Offer to go to the doctor with them. 

    Make a crisis plan – together.

    Check in with them often.

    Be a good listener.

Supporting someone with PTSD can take a lot of time and energy—and it can be stressful. It’s common to feel that taking care of yourself is selfish, or that you don’t have time. But taking care of yourself is actually an important part of caring for your loved one. If your needs are met, you’ll be a stronger source of support for them.

#Stubborness

Relationships can take any form. From romantic relationships, marriages to friends or close families that have just drifted apart over time or due to specific problems. The Lord helps us cure all wounds if we follow the lead of Jesus. One of the things I have found that ruins all kinds of relationships is STUBBORNESS. Especially when you are the one who has been wronged. It is so easy and normal to hold on to our grudges, to feel right and vindicated in our refusal to forgive, but this feeling is not Godly.

I know how difficult it is to forgive. I know how much time can be wasted holding on to pain that someone did to us in the past, but if this past year–of coronavirus has taught me anything, it is that, I don’t want to waste any more time. Unforgiveness sucks the life and the joy out of you. While you may feel like you are justified in holding unto your pain, you are only hurting yourself. Think about all the times you fall short of what you KNOW, God is telling you to do, and yet, God keeps on forgiving you.

The disciples ask Jesus, “master how many times shall we forgive, is it 7 times?” to which Jesus responds, “not 7 but 70 x 7” (Matthew 18:21). There is no limit to forgiveness. Relationships are not just about husbands and wives, someone is praying for their children right now; perhaps the relationship that needs healing is the one with your sibling. I know people who haven’t spoken to their brother and sisters in over 15 years! God is calling you to heal and reconcile.

I have fallen into the spirit of stubbornness, I’ve been running around ranting about all I did for a family member, and how dare he not be grateful – his gratefulness should not be measured by me and in inability to show gratefulness should not be judge by me. I surrender today!

Bernie Sanders #SoulTrain

Tuesday Motivation

A bell is not a bell
till you ring it,
A song is not a song
till you sing it,
Love in your heart
is not put there to stay,
Love is not love
till you give it away.

Your Children and the News

With everything going on in the news today, it can be frightening for young people. Here are a few tips to help your child understand/navigate the news.

Find Out What Your Child Already Knows

    Ask your kids questions to see if they know about a current event. For school-age kids and teens, you can ask what they have heard at school or on social media.

    Consider your child’s age and development. Younger kids may not grasp the difference between fact and fantasy. Most kids realize the news is real by the time they are 7 or 8 years old.

    Follow your child’s lead. If your child doesn’t seem interested in an event or doesn’t want to talk about it at the moment, don’t push.

Answer Questions Honestly and Briefly

    Tell the truth, but share only as much as your child needs to know. Try to calm any fears and help kids feel safe. Don’t offer more details than your child is interested in.

    Listen carefully. For some kids, hearing about an upsetting event or natural disaster might make them worry, “Could I be next? Could that happen to me?” Older kids may have lots of questions. Focus on what your kids ask so you can help them cope with their fears. An adult’s willingness to listen sends a powerful message.

    It’s OK to say you don’t know the answer. If your child asks a question that stumps you, say you’ll find out. Or use age-appropriate websites to spend time together looking for an answer.

Help Kids Feel in Control

    Encourage your child to talk. If your child is afraid about what’s going on, ask about it. Even when kids can’t control an event — like a natural disaster — it can help them to share their fears with you.

    Urge teens to look beyond a news story. Ask why they think an outlet featured a frightening or disturbing story. Was it to boost ratings and clicks or because the story was truly newsworthy? In this way, a scary story can be turned into a discussion about the role and mission of the news.

    Teach your children to be prepared, not panicked. For example, if the news is about a natural disaster, make a family plan for what you might do. If an illness is spreading, talk about ways to protect yourself and others.

    Talk about what you can do to help. After a tragic event, finding ways to help can give kids a sense of control. Look for news stories that highlight what other people are doing.

    Put news stories in context. Broaden the discussion from a specific news item about a difficult event to a larger conversation. Use it as a way to talk about helping, cooperation, and the ways that people cope with hardship.

Limit Exposure to the News

    Decide what and how much news is appropriate for your child. Think about how old your kids are and how mature they are. Encourage them to take breaks from following the news, especially when the topics are difficult.

    Keep tabs on the amount of difficult news your child hears. Notice how often you discuss the news in front of your kids. Turn off the TV so the news is not playing in the background all day.

    Set limits. It’s OK to tell your kids that you don’t want them to have constant exposure and to set ground rules on device and social media use.

    Watch the news with your child and talk about it. Turn off a story if you think it’s not appropriate for your child.

Keep the Conversation Going

    Talk about current events with your child often. Help kids think through stories they hear – good and bad. Ask questions like: “What do you think about these events?” or “How do you think these things happen?” With these types of questions, you can encourage conversation about non-news topics.

    Watch for stress. If your child shows changes in behavior (such as not sleeping or eating, not wanting to be around people, or worrying all the time), call your child’s doctor or a behavioral health care provider. They can help your child manage anxiety and feel better able to cope

#ASAP

Happy New Year

Goodnight Dawn Wells

Dawn Wells, who played the loveable castaway Mary Ann Summers on “Gilligan’s Island,” died in Los Angeles on Wednesday from Covid-19

A #DEATHWISH !

Goodnight Pierre Cardin

French fashion designer Pierre Cardin, hailed for his visionary creations but also for bringing stylish clothes to the masses, died Tuesday aged 98, his family told AFP.

Cardin, who was born to a low-income family in northern Italy but became a France-based fashion superstar, died in a hospital in Neuilly in the west of Paris, his family said.

“It is a day of great sadness for all our family. Pierre Cardin is no more,” the statement said.

It said after a lifetime spanning a century he had left France and the world a “great unique artistic heritage” and not only in fashion.

Born into poverty in 1922 near Venice in northern Italy, his family em