Pain + Pain = Addiction

Keep them in prayer not in the gossip closet!

Who Was That Girl


I would see her every day in front of my building, wandering looking lost – yet I was enjoying my freedom;

She looked homeless, without friends – yet I was enjoying my freedom.

Did she have family she could call on – while I was busy enjoying my freedom?

I would get home from work, exhausted from a hard day’s work and there she was looking lost and hungry – yet I was enjoying my freedom.

The night would fall and there she was looking just as distraught as she did yesterday – yet I was enjoying my freedom.

I would often mention her to my friends – as if I had come to know her, yet I never spoke a word to her; you see I was enjoying my freedom.

There were days I would see her and become so angry – but I was enjoying my freedom.

This young lady was ever growing on me, my thoughts began to get consumed by her every day as I arrived home;  who was she, what could I say to her that she would hea – I wanted her to experience my freedom.

I would see her walking, standing or just looking lost – but either I was too busy, it was too cold, it was too late in the day, it was too dark, she wasn’t ready for my conversation; I had something more important to do; I’ll check in with her the next time I see her –I was too busy enjoying my freedom.

Where had she gone, I realized she was  no longer roaming the streets where I lived – what happened to her;  was she in the hospital, was she laying in a dark place unable to call for help – I had now become Concerned

When I told this story to a few gentlemen who were selling items from their local church they strongly suggested I yield to the Spirit and talk to her because she may be getting ready to leave this world…

I was too late, I never saw her again, I searched for her day after day; week after week; I left clothes for her on the banister, I prayed for her – I was no longer too busy enjoying my freedom – yet I felt such a colossal sense of loss especially since I was perspicacious about this woman who I had never met or spoken to I had  never, could never or simply just refused to take just a few minutes of my freedom to say hello, how are you, can I help – I was like you too before I started enjoying my freedom

I never dismiss that small voice that directs to me a stranger – some folk get angry with me, some are afraid for me – some question if that is why I’m here… I just know that every time I yield I get a sweet sense that He is with me.

New #Blogger On Board – #MsConcerned

I believe there are women that have turned to God heard His voice, seen His miracles and turned away!

Blogging is not as easy as one thinks – so I am learning.  One must be #fearless and establish a routine of posting relevant material in a timely manner.  The content must be of value, distractions must be non-existent, and readability must be appropriate for the audience – or at least grasp the audience’s attention.

For folk like me I want to share with the world my knowledge of certain subjects and I end up jumping from one topic to another the moment I feel passion about the subject matter or about the folk that will be affected by the subject.  I also want to share about the book that is currently being revised for the nth time about my #Journey from the #BusStop to present day.   I believe it will be a good read, enjoyable, painful and life-sustaining not but for only for woman but for men as well.  Of course I end up #Hash-tagging all over the place trying desperately to connected the dots, lol.

Seriously, I believe there are women out there who have had her heart-broken and/or shattered into a million pieces (there’s a difference); who has had her life ripped out from under her; who has watched her husband walk away with a baby and had a baby.  For any woman who has found herself in the trenches of drug addiction and abuse from all directions only to get up and find #Grace on the other side – only to find herself entangled in the trenches again still trying to glue the minuscule pieces of her heart and life back together by engaging in unsavory relationships, meaningless jobs, friendless girlfriends, and with unhealthy men. I believe there are women that have turned to God heard His voice, seen His miracles and turned away!  Yes, that’s  just some of my story; I hope you take the journey with me – help me – guide me and most of all don’t judge me.  If you do – don’t worry, I have a God that loves and adores me and I know He Loves and adores you too – no matter how many times you said no – not right now…



Church offers Alcoholics Anonymous-inspired recovery program for racists

“…this comes at a time when the subject of racism in America is front and center…”

 Alcoholics Anonymous states the following, “While there is no formal “A.A. definition” of alcoholism, most of us agree that, for us, it could be described as a physical compulsion, coupled with a mental obsession. We mean that we had a distinct physical desire to consume alcohol beyond our capacity to control it, and in defiance of all rules of common sense. We not only had an abnormal craving for alcohol, but we frequently yielded to it at the worst possible times. We did not know when (or how) to stop drinking. Often, we did not seem to have sense enough to know when not to begin.

“Alcoholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of men and women who have had a drinking problem. It is nonprofessional, self-supporting, multiracial, apolitical, and available almost everywhere. There are no age or education requirements. Membership is open to anyone who wants to do something about his or her drinking problem.”

Narcotics Anonymous,  a derivative of Alcoholics Anonymous defines an addict as, “… Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions, and death.”

King James states: (1) Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; (2) James 4:7 7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (3) Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.  One must personally  make a serious commitment to be free from bondage. It takes determination to follow through to the Lord’s victory. “Slaves who love their chains can never be free”

Trinity’s pastor Rev. J. Nathan King, stated, “…this comes at a time when the subject of racism in America is front and center…”

Front and center maybe, however racism as always been around the corner, the white house, the black and brown house,  the south, the north and across the water.  We show movie clips and videos about Frankenstein, some teachers have students write book reports about the story and rarely have I heard the teacher speak to the blatant racism of the folks in town. Frankenstein in this writer’s opinion is the clearest picture for our young students to see, understand and  identify when racism rears it’s ugly head.

Wikipedia (a collaboration of definitions by random individuals) never mentions the word racism in it’s  summary it actually states,

“…Frankenstein is infused with elements of the Gothic novel and the Romantic movement. At the same time, it is an early example of science fiction.”

This writer strongly suggests that unlike alcoholism, drug addiction and generational curses,  racism is a taught behavior.  How does one get “addicted” to racism?  When was the last time you read a story about a person losing their home and family because they gave their money to a racist, any racist? When have racist been locked up for selling, buying, stealing or abusing racism?

Source: Church offers Alcoholics Anonymous-inspired recovery program for racists

Narcotics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous

King James Version

Good Night Jocelyn Winfrey

Jocelyn Winfrey

With troubled heart, my friend Jocelyn Winfrey left this world a few days ago.  I met Jocelyn over a decade ago, she was tall, loud, and quite pugnacious and quarrelsome in her body language and tone.  Some folks found this distasteful both at work and in the community.  She was talked about at work because of her behavior and tone, yet I saw another side of her and appreciated her for who she was – no holds barred, she said what she meant and she meant what she said.  She was not the kind of person to allow anyone to walk around with a veil covering their face – hiding from the truth, as a matter of fact, she would snatch it off and then render love in her own special way.

John 10:10 New International Version (NIV)

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Jesus said that anyone who enters other than the “front” door is the same as a thief, but if you enter through the door of the shepherd He will hear you by your name.  The ugly twist to this is that if you don’t enter through His door you may find yourself alone traveling aimlessly through this world without protection.  There is a wolf roaming about whose has but one purpose to kill, either by destroying or stealing.  There are those who say drug addiction is a disease and some who say it is a spiritual attack or evil spirit. They might conclude that for those who are currently struggling with addictions, this death as egregious as it appeared to be, the attack gives one a tangible picture of how the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.  We can talk about that topic another time, for today my focus is on my friend Jocelyn.  She battled with drug addiction in the last few years after having experienced freedom from drugs for a great many years.  While she struggled, many left her side, many loved her from a distance – I surmise in her best days she was a handful!  One thing I know for sure for those she loved she went out of her way to show her love.  I remember she gave a party for a friend – just because, we laughed and enjoyed pizza in New Haven at Abate and talked about some great times and wonderful memories.  However, if you turned your head for a second you would experience her wrath.

One fond memory I would like to share is the unconditional love she had.  We were outside on a break from work one day and we were talking about the maintenance on my car.  I was explaining to Jocelyn that since my “then” husband was away doing experiments with other women and such, I found myself with a new car and no man to do the stuff men do with their new vehicles.  I remember telling her that since I knew how to read, I read the manual or directions and I intended to do absolutely every single solitary suggestion listed in the book under “maintenance”.  I changed the oil as suggested, checked the tires, bought new ones as suggested, changed wipers and most of all I washed it once a week (ok that wasn’t in the manual – that was my own suggestion), even when there was snow on the ground.  When the car reached its 60,000-mile mark, the manual suggested that I change the timing belt, I checked out a few mechanics and to my surprise, the cost was around $2,500.  Jocelyn said to me, “…do you need $2,500”?  I was still ranting and raving about that man being absent from his “vehicle duties” – again she asked me, “…do you need $2,500”?  I said, well of course but I’ll get it in time.  Jocelyn said to me when do you want to get the belt changed, I replied, “When I get the money together”.  To which she replied, “…do you need $2,500”?  Ohhhhhhh, the light bulb went off, she was offering me $2,500!

To my friend Jocelyn, Good Night – for the war in this world is over for you…





New International Version (NIV)

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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