Aggravated Assumption

There have always been self-help groups both online and within social media apps. There are both paid and free versions of self-help programs and subscriptions. Self-help groups allow people to feed their natural tendency to seek acceptance, comfort, and understanding in a safe setting. It stands to reason that one should be careful when opting for free self-help programs. We must be careful that not only are we acutely aware of our diagnosis but that we vet free online programs. As women, we can have a host of issues from mother/daughter, mother/father, boyfriend/girlfriend, straight/gay, and from those few suggestions there can be a plethora of sub-issues. When selecting a free online self-help program we must be completely informed of the history and training of said group’s ability to address our issues. With that said, as I was perusing the internet I stumbled across a post about the sexuality of a man by a woman who claims she is a self-love specialist. Some of the best self-help groups offer emotional support and practical help with a mental health challenge, experience, or concern shared by all the members. I may be a little late on this post considering Kevin Samuels has passed away…


Who is Tonyatko – according to her website she’s, “Bold, Courageous & Spiritually Aware, Tonya Tko is the wise & Beautiful Big Sister you’ve always wanted.” She further states, “Tonya Tko uplifts you to become the greatest version of yourself using divine wisdom, compassionate caring & beautiful enriching energy.” However, for over an hour she condemned Kevin Samuels as a hidden gay man. Kevin was intereviewed by VLAD and this is what he had to say.

Tonya states on her website that she has knowledge, wisdom, compassion and open-mindedness to help you create the life of your dreams. Tonya Tko is the embodiment of compassion, love and strength. She also shares about ending up living in her car. During her displacement, she stayed fully committed to actualizing her dream. The year of living in her car taught her to put into action the principles of Self-Love she had been teaching online for 8 years. Yet this love boat stated that ALL the women who called into Kevin Samuels show were women who lacked healthy male role models and his viewers were losers.

What we won’t do is mention all the typos on her home page because Lord knows I’ve had quite a few and not one person reading my blog made me aware of the mis-spellings – shhh don’t say anything she also has some computer language that should be removed but I digress. Not only am I annoyed that this bundle of love, joy and compassion for others could tear up a man’s reputation with her words and sexual moans and groans without having a conversation with him about his sexual preference but as someone who was homeless living in her car she has done nothing for the homeless population (notice her header below). Whether he is gay or not what gives her the right to put him out there and in the derogatory manner in which she did?

The menu from her page which does not include where someone can either read about her programs for homeless women or make donation to her the cause of her choice.

Sign the #LGBTQ Non-Discrimination Pledge #OpenToAll

Because you don’t live near a bakery doesn’t mean you have to go without cheesecake.

– Hedy Lamarr

Co op Bakery

On December 5, the U.S. Supreme Court will consider the case of a bakery that denied service to a same-sex couple because they are gay. That’s why business leaders nationwide are taking a stand to affirm they are #OpenToAll – and we want you to join us.

Would you sign____________________________?

Businesses for LGBTQ Non-Discrimination Pledge:

Business leaders know that being open to the public means being open to everyone. Inclusion and diversity are critical to a thriving economy and dynamic workforce. Small business leaders across the country affirm the need for comprehensive nondiscrimination that prohibits unequal treatment against LGBTQ people and oppose all efforts to undermine or exempt businesses from the inclusive policies that benefit our businesses and our communities.

Please fill out the form below and add your name to the list of business owners who oppose discrimination and support being #OpenToAll. Your business name and city will be listed on Freedom for All Americans’ website along with hundreds of other businesses and organizations who support inclusive nondiscrimination policies.

I received this in my inbox today and I say No, No I will not sign it – Here’s why – there was a story from Santa Cruz in 1992 – a City Council proposed an ordinance that prohibited discrimination against persons on the basis of “personal appearance.”  Which became known as the “Purple Hair Ordinance” or the “Ugly Ordinance.”  Other wise known as – lookism – according the #Wikipedia – Lookism is a concept used to describe a setting where there exists discriminatory treatment toward physically unattractive people; mainly in the workplace but also in social settings.

First thing came to mind was an article in the Huffington Post – which stated,
“Approximately 100 women gathered last week to contemplate the idea that their skills, talent and intelligence could be overshadowed by a hairstyle. And more often than not, the concern is based on women of color sporting their natural hair.  If one’s employment can be rejected simply by their hair – how is that the rejection of service by an establishment based on sexual orientation requires US Supreme Court intervention?

Example by Kath Manoff a restaurant owner stated, “If someone has 14 earrings in their ears and their nose -and who knows where else – and spiky green air and smells like a skunk…I don’t know why I have to hire them.”

In speaking to the Athenians, Paul stated that God “has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings” (Acts 17:26). We are all descendants of Adam. While we are divided between different nations and languages, we are all the same — human beings created by the hand of God.

If that be true then the statement, …”mind of a man could be ascertained by the manner in which he holds his cane.” Would present cause for everyone Black/White/Gay/Straight to have someone stand in the gap and provide “covering” to ensure everyone get an equal opportunity.

To my distress this has never occurred with folk who look like me.







Post, Robert. “Prejudicial appearances: The logic of American antidiscrimination law.” Cal. L. Rev. 88 (2000): 1.

“The Skinny on Job Discrimination.” Fox News, FOX News Network, 20 June 2007,

New King James Version Bible


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