MsConcerned's Manifesto

Tag: One Woman’s Journey to Freedom

  • Hate is Equally as Powerful as Love

    Hate is Equally as Powerful as Love

    The level of hate has risen exponentially among every demographic across the globe, the cost of anger and hate is increasing tearing apart friends, families, communities, and sadly – lovers… I am Concerned…

    We fall in love…

    If we truly loved, we don’t FALL out of love…

    Folk say, I’ve never loved…

    I don’t know how to love…

    I believe that is completely untrue…

    Perhaps, if I repeat it enough, I’ll believe I can’t love – thereby I create a path of less resistance- creating my on world – with my own key – laying the hideous foundation for escape [at will] believing others will/must succumb to my illusion of a syllables should others fail to follow the guidelines – they get an [F] as a final grade with no chance to resubmit…

    Should a shred of leniency find its way through the course web of fallacies – the likelihood of achieving a better grade – is as attainable as buying the golden egg…

    It’s the strong emotion of hate equivalent to love that ensures the key holder will forever remain in their perfectly created ice dormitory long after class is over…

    This writer’s heart crumbles for those who hold the key…

    I’ve never seen a perfect man – just one saved by grace…

    I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

    I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

    I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

    I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

    I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

    I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

    I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

    He then began to cry and walked away.

    They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

    * Only if you wish, send this to the people you will never forget. If you don’t send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have forgotten your friends.

    TAKE TIME TO LIVE….

    To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH.

  • One Woman’s Journey to Freedom

    Dreams

    Dreams many of us have them during waking hours they are known as day dreaming. We dream of places we would like to be, we day dream about a better home, a spouse or perhaps what life would be like if we had more money.  Some of us dream during our sleep – they can be hot spicy dreams or dreams of “real life” experiences and then there are those of us that have dreams of a more spiritual nature.  The story you are about to read is about the latter.  Although the dream is true unlike some dreams that last during the night and they are over the moment we wake up this dream will span more than a decade and continues to evolve as I write this story.

    The First Dream

    As I awaken from one of the most vivid dreams I had as a child in elementary school I felt a sense of fear, a dark fear.  Our family had just moved to a project community, they are called “the projects” a housing development owned by the government.  Our apartment was located on the 6th floor in the middle building of the complex.  Moving day for a kid can be quite interesting, we don’t really do anything, except get in the way or just run around and watch – and try to stay out of the way.  Up and down the elevator I traveled all day, it was a nice warm day to move and see interesting things.  During this move I can remember 1 or 2 specific incidents.  One was I managed to somehow get away from my parents not by choice, just wandering off; I found myself in the elevator alone.  Apparently, someone (maybe my dad – I loved him so much) taught me how to push the number 6 for my floor and so I did or, so I thought.  I got off and walked straight to the first house on the right like I had done about 6 times already; yet this time I noticed there were some type of hanging twigs or dead flowers on the door, I thought to myself, I’ve never seen those before (from where we had just moved from) I entered the house and to my surprise the house was fully furnished but those people were not my parents.  The house had a strange atmosphere about it, something said to me “get out” and so I did, I didn’t say hello when that lady spoke to me, that man in the chair just looked and never said a word, but when she reach out to touch me – I flew out of that door!

    From our building we could see the park across the street, which would later become the walk of horror for me on my way to school. The girls would begin to get angry with me because I had a new outfit on every Monday – that was something not heard of if the projects back in my day. They would taunt me, stick their tongue out at me when after we arrived in class and their favorite line as they passed by my desk was, “…you think you cute…” one would think that was a nice thing to say I learned the hard way that is was not a complement.   You see my dad was always trying to improve and make another dollar more than he did the day before and as a result my mother would always do for us what was not done for her as she grew up.

    I also remember always losing my house key – that was tied around my neck with a one of those hair ribbons that was twisted like yarn and it would frizz up; it was irritating around my neck, so I would remove it once I left the house and subsequently I would have go to office – get the master key then walk around the corner to the local supply story to get a replacement; back then replacement keys were .50 cents.  Not sure what significance the losing of the key has to this story but it was a memory that stood out for me and I decided to place it in this introduction.

    One night as I climbed into bed and fell asleep I begin to dream.  In the dream I pushed 6 for the floor I lived on and the elevator door would open; when the door opened I found myself on a floor filled with nothing but cylinder columns.  Cement Columns 3I walked off the elevator and looked around for a bit then the fear came I turned to get back on the elevator and to my horror the elevator was gone!  The dream repeated itself over and over again night after night.  This dream repeated itself so much that I found myself able to make decisions during the dream I would remember the events from the last dream, so I wouldn’t get out of the elevator, so it would not disappear on me, to my surprise I found that if I did not get out of the elevator it would still disappear.   During one of the dreams I entered in the elevator and decided not to move, and the elevator disappeared as if I had got off once again forcing me to take that walk – the only relief or freedom from the 6th floor – was waking up.

    Dreams in the Bible may…

    • Warn a person not to do something (Genesis 20:3, 31:24, Matthew 27:19)
    • Convey what will happen either in the near or distant future (Genesis 37:5, 9, 40:8 – 19, 41:1 – 7, 15 – 32, Daniel 2, 7)
    • Convey a spiritual truth (Genesis 28:12)
    • Confirm a promise (Genesis 28:13 – 14)
    • To convey to an enemy their destruction (Judges 7:13 – 15)
    • Offer a gift from God (1Kings 3:5)
    • Warn a person they will receive punishment for their sins (Daniel 4)

    I would encourage you to tuned for more of my dream…

    My He Bless You Beyond Your Comprehension

  • Dreams

    Write God Will Ignite_001

     

      Genesis 41:12

    And there was there with us a young man, an Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard; and we told him, and he interpreted to us our dreams; to each man according to his dream he did interpret.

     

    I was prompted to write a book years ago it was a suggestion from my then mother-in-law.  I thought to myself, #hmm what a nice interesting idea.  I had so many thoughts about what I would write, about who and when.  I attempted a hundred thousand times to put my thoughts on paper; I would write a page, walk away, I would open the document read that one page and allow some other opportunity to distract me.   I could not come up with a creative or interesting thought provoking ways to start writing that would take me, my thoughts and my readers to the end of the book.  I rejected every idea that entered into my head, I could write about my life – too messy, I could write about the good moments – unrealistic reading, I could write about the messy and dark days of my life – too many, alas I defaulted to – book writing was not for me, it was the perfect “out”.

    Over the years since the idea was suggested back in 1998 I have attempted to pick up the “keyboard” (well you know who uses pen and paper to write anything anymore).  Over and over I would attempt to write and each I failed only to give way to the demands of life or simple procrastination.  It would prevent me from settling down to focus on writing, something I now believe I was called to do.  I was given suggestions by various people some face to face and some by virtual means to write this book. I remember having a phone interview and the HR manager on the other end said to me during our interview, “I want to read your book…” #hmm well we had not talked about me writing a book or anything about my life other than work related subjects.  I have frequently reminded to continue to write on this book, some reminders were so vivid and clear that I began to trust that God wanted me to write.  Each time I heard another suggestion or demand to write I would return to the place in the document where I left off writing and I would encounter the same “you can’t do this” thought, [who wants to read another story about someone’s life they don’t know, and what has made my life interesting enough for strangers to read]?  I noticed at some point the suggestions to write a book were coming so fast and from so many directions I had no other recourse but to give into the notion that I was to write a book or else!

    I thought to myself where do I begin, with childhood memories – boring and confusing, I thought about my relationships – not enough substance, what about my dark years – how many more stories do we need about a black woman coming through the “struggle”.  Then the light bulb went off (if you will) I’m thinking more like I received the inspiration from you know who, I remembered a dream I had in the third grade and the story began to unravel.

    Genesis 41:12

    And there was there with us a young man, an Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard; and we told him, and he interpreted to us our dreams; to each man according to his dream he did interpret.

    Dreams by definition are a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep.  Please do not get this confused with fortune telling, sorcery, witchcraft, or oneiromancy for this is not.  I’m simply telling the story as it was designed for me to share with you.Of course I have had those dreams we’ve often heard about, you know the ones where you’re falling but you may or may not hit the ground, and wake up relieved and/or frightened, or the dreams of something running after you.   The Bible tells us of dreams and visions from the Book of Genesis to the Book of Revelation.  Jacob received God’s promise that Abraham’s blessing would be carried on, Joseph was shown his family would respect him, and Daniel had understanding in all dreams.  I’ve had hundreds of dreams; some I remember others I do not.  There have been times when I awoke and felt afraid and there have been some dreams I actually tried to go back to sleep and finish because they were so enjoyable.

    The story of Jonah is about a man who God called to deliver a message.  Jonah was called by God to deliver a message to the Assyrian capital of Nineveh.  He wasn’t willing to make that journey so he started one of his own which lead him to the farthest point in the other direction away from God, or so he thought.  When called by God, Jonah’s selfish desires caused God to have to break Jonah.  Jonah had to learn that you can’t hide or run from God and about the mercy and grace of God; much like Jonah I have run from God on many occasion only to find He was there all the time no matter where, who or what I ran to.  Trust and believe I’ve had my share of being in the whale.  God has over the years has dealt with me in my dreams, I suspect that is because I was too busy to be still long enough for Him to get my attention – or so I thought.

    When you are not busy come with me to the next Bus Stop, and find out about  #thebus, I hope you enjoy the ride.

     

     

     

     

  • I Went to the Garden Alone

     

    Any Christian or Gospel song I hear, is more to me than a set of sounds with words (that may or may not include the name of Jesus, God or Holy Spirit) applied to the melody.  The song must have a beginning, middle, and end – most importantly, the song must tell a story.  That story must offer hope for hopeless, peace for the troubled, and rest for the weary last but not lease salvation for the lost.  In that story, it must also help encourage me to increase my faith; move from fear to faith, from anger to peace, from pain to joy, from bound to being free!  A song can also help take me to a place of pure worship; in other words, it can set the “stage” (if you will) to embrace the spirit of God and praise Him with all my heart….

    With that said here’s my take on Marvin Sapp’s song “In the Garden”.

    “…I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses…”

    – Have you ever seen a rose or a flower on a summer morning?  Imagine looking out your window and the view of a long country road lined with roses early in the am.  Just after sun rise and the dew is still on the roses from the cool of the evening meeting the warmth of the sun.  How peaceful that picture looks to me in my vision.  God is the God of peace, imagine being on the outside of that window, where the sun is shining brightly but not hot, and you begin to pray.  As you look around you see the roses and the dew and you imagine to yourself – wow who would have taken the time to create such a beautiful flower and think to create an object that would not only warm that flower, but create a night that would turn into day so that, that same flower could get some water without RAIN. Surely if He took care of a rose and saw to all of its needs surely He will provide for me and you!

    “And the voice I hear falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses, He speaks and the sound of His voice, Is so sweet that the birds they hush their singing, and the melody that He sends to me, within my heart is still ringing…”

    When I pray, and I’m still I can hear the voice of God speak to me.  That’s right I can hear him.  Although His voice is not always like the artists describes, sometimes He just very direct especially when I’m not listening to him – much like a parent.  Oh but when I hear that sweet sound of His voice, that would make the birds hush, my soul cries out and I just want to scream from the top of my lungs, Lord forgive me for ALL the wrong I’ve done, or I can’t seem to thank Him enough for all that He’s had done and/or for all that He WILL do!  That feeling and sound can reverberate in my ears, my eyes (though watching other people get blessed) my heart and my soul sometimes for weeks at a clip.

    “..and, and He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me that I am His own, and the joy we share as we tarry, tarry there, none other has ever, ever known…”

    As we talk (prayer) shared conversation (I listen) I often hear Him say, don’t you worry my child, I have everything under control.  When I walk and talk with Him words cannot adequately describe but I’ll give it a shot.  Think about the worst time in your life, the most painful situation you have been in or may be still going through, think about the husband or wife that abandoned you, that parent that said you would never be anything and they still verbally abuse you, think about all the times you messed up!  Now, think about your favorite food, your favorite picture, your most trusted friend and the best time in your life, imagine the not having experience a “good” time yet, life just has been horrible – roll all that up as walk to YOUR garden and now visualize that rose in the morning’s sun with the dew… and you get on your knees, and simple say, I am a sinner and I’m sorry – I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead.
    “…None other has ever, ever known…”

     

    – His voice will now sound like no other voice you have ever known….

     

    Peace and Blessing

     


    References

    Marvin Sapp- in the garden [Video file]. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uttIAHmW_8

     

     

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